Thank you for brining the topic to the fore and, although I won't share my opinion on an age or health "limit" because this is just too complex a subject, I think our understanding of mental health as younger people would change if we saw the deterioration of the mind as just as important in old age as that of the body.
I agree completely. By sharing my journey through these midlife and late life issues, I hope to educate the younger generation. Often age related issues were not talked about outside immediate family.
In the US one’s options are limited because it illegal in most states to compassionately end one’s life. Few things are scarier than not having options and being forced to live a life of suffering.
In Canada, there is a Government program called MAID (Medical Assistance In Dying) where certain circumstances permit a doctor to assist in a patients death. However, the rules and regulations are very strict. An elderly person cannot just decide that they have had enough.
Not surprised it’s a national program in Canada versus state by state. Hope we move to more availability for those suffering the most. Thanks again for the article.
I must start thinking about this…I am the elderly parent! I’m in good health, but someday my kids will have to deal as I age along. Updating my will and Five Wishes will help. Thanks for writing this so clearly and honestly, Laura! ☺️
I’ve lost my husband and parents in the last seven years. My mother and father were in their late 80’s, my husband suffered various traumas. I don’t know how to say this but I believe they “chose” their exit spiritually and mentally and their bodies followed suit. They said goodbye to me in subtle and not so subtle ways days before dying which I brushed off and continued to administer to the business of their living.
Yes, sometimes it seems like they have already decided it is time. From the outside, we often do not or cannot identify these signs. However, in the case of dementia, perhaps the mind cannot comprehend the concept of simply "giving up".
Fascinating article. As medical science continues to make new discoveries, and people start to regularly live well beyond 100, this issue is going to need to be discussed a lot more, as you say. The whole question of quantity versus quality is a very difficult one, but you've handled the subject superbly... 😎
I've walked this path with both my parents. My dad with a multitude of health issues and suffering from dementia. And my mother who was clear and sharp to the end, but for cancer. Culturally it seems we're not able to have open and caring discussion regarding this issue. Thanks for broaching the topic.
A thought-provoking read. Sorry for the passing of your husband's aunt. My partner's grandma is 95 and has a lot of ups and downs with her health. It's hard to see her suffer when she's sick. I feel people deserve to have dignity at every stage of their life.
I reached 65 Friday, and this question has been on my mind. Both my parents died quickly, so there was no Alzheimer's or dementia to worry though. Will my children have to suffer to take care of me? It makes one get out of bed faster each morning and think about exercise, learn a new language, and keep writing.
This is certainly a question I think those of us dealing with elderly parents often ask ourselves. My mum is 82 and thriving, my MIL is 92 and has been miserable and negative for many years. We don't get to decide how long we live, but we do get to decide how we live those years (until dementia takes that away from us). I choose to live simply, contentedly, and gratefully - as that builds upon itself year by year, I'm hoping it will mean that I go into my later years with calmness and acceptance - and that will make me less of a burden to others. It's something I think about often....
Important thoughts to ponder. I presently know of a number of people who've had Alzheimers (through speaking to friends and some personal experience) where that person tends to have quite a long life. Late 90s, early 100s. It seems a bit odd as for the most part median age is much less than that. any thoughts on that, Laura?
Interesting idea. The Aunt that I referred to in the article had her funeral yesterday. We were told that she was absolutely terrified of dying. Many thought it was her fear and will to stay arrive that kept her going until 105. On the other hand, my Mother in Law just can't wait for her life to be over.
Thank you for brining the topic to the fore and, although I won't share my opinion on an age or health "limit" because this is just too complex a subject, I think our understanding of mental health as younger people would change if we saw the deterioration of the mind as just as important in old age as that of the body.
I agree completely. By sharing my journey through these midlife and late life issues, I hope to educate the younger generation. Often age related issues were not talked about outside immediate family.
Or not at all, if we weren't close with our grandparents like me!
In the US one’s options are limited because it illegal in most states to compassionately end one’s life. Few things are scarier than not having options and being forced to live a life of suffering.
In Canada, there is a Government program called MAID (Medical Assistance In Dying) where certain circumstances permit a doctor to assist in a patients death. However, the rules and regulations are very strict. An elderly person cannot just decide that they have had enough.
Not surprised it’s a national program in Canada versus state by state. Hope we move to more availability for those suffering the most. Thanks again for the article.
I must start thinking about this…I am the elderly parent! I’m in good health, but someday my kids will have to deal as I age along. Updating my will and Five Wishes will help. Thanks for writing this so clearly and honestly, Laura! ☺️
Thank you.
It's these little tid bits of life that we often do not think of or are not aware of.
I’ve lost my husband and parents in the last seven years. My mother and father were in their late 80’s, my husband suffered various traumas. I don’t know how to say this but I believe they “chose” their exit spiritually and mentally and their bodies followed suit. They said goodbye to me in subtle and not so subtle ways days before dying which I brushed off and continued to administer to the business of their living.
Yes, sometimes it seems like they have already decided it is time. From the outside, we often do not or cannot identify these signs. However, in the case of dementia, perhaps the mind cannot comprehend the concept of simply "giving up".
Fascinating article. As medical science continues to make new discoveries, and people start to regularly live well beyond 100, this issue is going to need to be discussed a lot more, as you say. The whole question of quantity versus quality is a very difficult one, but you've handled the subject superbly... 😎
Thank you so much.
I've walked this path with both my parents. My dad with a multitude of health issues and suffering from dementia. And my mother who was clear and sharp to the end, but for cancer. Culturally it seems we're not able to have open and caring discussion regarding this issue. Thanks for broaching the topic.
A thought-provoking read. Sorry for the passing of your husband's aunt. My partner's grandma is 95 and has a lot of ups and downs with her health. It's hard to see her suffer when she's sick. I feel people deserve to have dignity at every stage of their life.
I reached 65 Friday, and this question has been on my mind. Both my parents died quickly, so there was no Alzheimer's or dementia to worry though. Will my children have to suffer to take care of me? It makes one get out of bed faster each morning and think about exercise, learn a new language, and keep writing.
Absolutely. Exercise and keeping active are beneficial in may ways.
This is certainly a question I think those of us dealing with elderly parents often ask ourselves. My mum is 82 and thriving, my MIL is 92 and has been miserable and negative for many years. We don't get to decide how long we live, but we do get to decide how we live those years (until dementia takes that away from us). I choose to live simply, contentedly, and gratefully - as that builds upon itself year by year, I'm hoping it will mean that I go into my later years with calmness and acceptance - and that will make me less of a burden to others. It's something I think about often....
Well said.
Important thoughts to ponder. I presently know of a number of people who've had Alzheimers (through speaking to friends and some personal experience) where that person tends to have quite a long life. Late 90s, early 100s. It seems a bit odd as for the most part median age is much less than that. any thoughts on that, Laura?
Interesting idea. The Aunt that I referred to in the article had her funeral yesterday. We were told that she was absolutely terrified of dying. Many thought it was her fear and will to stay arrive that kept her going until 105. On the other hand, my Mother in Law just can't wait for her life to be over.
My condolences, Laura. Aging and how we deal with it is truly a conundrum. It's all so very personal.
Thanks. Yes, it is.