16 Comments
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Piotr Wieczorek's avatar

I like your perspective on it. Maybe one thing leads to another? Maybe this experience is simply a sign to shape a new reality and let you, and your family, thrive in a new way?

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Yes, it certainly will encourage more frequent visits.

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Tim Ebl 🇨🇦's avatar

My parents haven't driven themselves for 4 years. It has been a real struggle for them and for us, since we live in the country. I know my dad would be in town every other day if he could find someone to drive him.

I feel that our dependence on cars is a real drawback, and most people don't think ahead to logistics as they age. We put ourselves in this position by living our lonely lives so far from everyone else out in the sticks..

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Yes, forethought is often forgotten.

In my dad's defense, he did have the forethought to downsize to a condo so my mom would not have a house to manage should he pass first. He just assumed that he would always drive though.

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Cherie Lee's avatar

Thank you for this, Laura. I suspect this is not to far in the future for my father, so it's really helpful to hear about your experience. I'm going to save this to refer back to in the future.

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Thank you so much. I'm glad I can help.

It is a difficult time, for sure.

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

Laura, I am sure this was impossibly hard. My father-in-law went through it also. After driving the wrong way up a one-way street. But no matter how things occur, it affects the person losing the license because it really does represent independence. So sorry.

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Yes, it is a struggle for my mom too as she now needs to hide her car keys and face the brunt of the frustrations.

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

My husband’s sister dealt with it bc she still lives in SanFran. Tough on that person.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

Sorry to hear your dad doesn't have his license anymore but it's a silver lining to see the family is adapting together to support him. My dad is 83 and might be facing the same reality in the next couple years. Thanks for sharing this Laura.

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Yes, family has been working on solutions but it is challenging nonetheless given that none of the children live in the same town.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

Ah yes, that can be an issue. I hope your family is able to find the best solutions!

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Tha KS.

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

That's a tough one. I remember when my dad could no longer drive at 80 due to dementia. He was crushed.

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Laura | Sunhats and Chardonnay's avatar

Yes, he is still struggling.

He has also tried to "steal" my mother's car which leads to arguments.

It's a work in progress and will take time to fully adjust.

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

It’s really hard to give up our independence. I’ve had a taste of that in the past.

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